Emotionally burnt out

Work is really getting to me. Too much sadness, stress, and death. Christmas eve I found out about two of our former patients who had been on our unit for months had died. One of those was the woman I did CPR on months ago who had gotten her heart transplant last month. She suddenly took a turn for the worse and didn't make it. Then the day after Christmas two patients died on our unit. Both were comfort care, but it was still so sad. One was so young and the other had been on our unit off and on for the past year. We all loved her and her family so much. Things are so heart breaking. I'm so emotionally burnt out right now. I love caring for my patients and know that death is a part of life... but it's hard to be around so much sadness and death.

I didn't realize how sad the holidays would be and how hard not having my baby would be. (My baby would be one month old). I just want to be a mom. I want to quit this job and take care of my children. I had Christmas day off, but worked the 24th and 26th and was exhausted all day. We spent the day with my in-laws and I missed my own family so much and the day was focused on my nephew who was born on the day I miscarried. I love him, but he's sadly a reminder of how long it's been since my loss.

I hope the new year brings much more happiness and peace.