On Giving Thanks in the Thick of It
8 years ago
Monday, July 28, 2008
Control
I had a really emotional day yesterday. I'm not sure how to explain it... I was in a really thoughtful mood and kept crying just from emotion. I spent a few hours painting our new shed. It was a really good time to just think and pray. I really got to thinking about my desire for a baby, but not being on the same page with DH... What does this mean for my life? How do I use this time in my life? At church I kept tearing up too. I've come to realize I have some areas in my life I need to work on... stop obsessing over wanting a baby and focus on God. I need to really learn to trust Him again and lean on Him. He's in control; a baby will be His gift and will come when He allows it. I want to focus on God more (not yet sure what I'm going to do to accomplish this... just pray more at this point). This time of waiting is where God has guided me and I need to trust that He knows best.
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Isn't that the hardest thing to do? I went through the same thing earlier this year. I finally had to realize that when having a baby was right (part of God's plan for me) that my husband would be on the same page as me. So I told my husband I wanted him to pray about it. That I wanted a baby, but I wanted the timing to be right. And a few weeks later he fully realized that TTC was what God wanted us to do.
It was so hard for me to do, but I did experience a lot of peace with the decision of putting it fully in God's hands. I pray that you will also find that peace!
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