One month

Today marks one month since I started to m/c. I'm doing much better, but still have constant thoughts about the "what ifs"
What if..
... I hadn't babysat for my friend's sick kid and gotten the stomach flu a week before my BFP
... I had gone to the ER when I started spotting (I was already at the hospital at work after all)
... I had not taken the preg tests when I did (maybe I would never had known I was preg and had avoided all of this emotional roller-coaster)
... there's something wrong with me and I'll have multiple m/c's like my mom and never be able to have a baby