Debating

I'm debating when to test... I don't know for sure how many DPO I am because I didn't chart this cycle (I've been charting for almost 4 years, so this was a very nice break!) But according to my calculations based on previous cycles, we BD 2 days before O.. perfect! (I hope). But for some reason I have a strong feeling that I am not pregnant. The only phantom symptom that I have right now is one (yes, only one) sore breast and that may just be because I sleep on that side. I have been helping with my nephews, so I've been really tired. I've stayed away from caffeine successfully (besides a few sips of soda). Anyway, I think I'm 7DPO right now. I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up. Having spent the past week with my new nephew (who is so sweet and cuddly and adorable) is making me crazy not to have a baby of my own.

Success

Success! At least in the BD department... here's hoping it was all worthwhile! I'm spending this week with my nephews which is a blast, but exhausting. These boys definitely need cousins! I really don't get the "when are you having kids?" from my extended family like I used to. Maybe word has spread about my m/c, so they don't ask me. I don't mind that so much! Especially since we are now trying (which I don't really want to advertise to my family). I have gotten the question a lot at work recently.

We'll see if we were actually successful in just a couple of weeks! I'm really trying not to get my hopes up too high since we only got one BD in this cycle. But I'm sure praying hard!

Baby dream

I had a beautiful baby dream last night. It was so wonderful that I hit snooze multiple times just in hope that my dream would continue. In my dream I had a beautiful home birth (my neighbor was my doula) and gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl. The birth wasn't even very painful (yeah...dream on!). She had a head full of dark hair and was perfect! I just remember holding her and being so proud and in love. I love these baby dreams (I've had a few), but they make me long for my baby even more. I wonder if the baby I lost was a girl because I tend to dream about having a baby girl.

My only chance to get pregnant this cycle is if I convince DH to sneak out to BD this weekend... he's not on board with that at all. I'm hoping I'll be able to seduce him :) and I'm praying that we can get pregnant! I'm not counting on it though... Once again, I'm trying to be patient for God's timing.

Disappointed

Not pregnant... AF showed up. Now next month doesn't look hopeful. DH will be traveling for a week and then I leave for almost 2 weeks. The only time we'll see each other (when there's a chance for me to get pregnant) is at an out of town wedding. I don't think I'll be able to get DH to sneak out and get me pregnant, but it could be an interesting story someday if we do!
Oh well... keeping it in God's hands. (While begging and pleading with Him in the meantime).

New nephew!

My sister had her baby this past weekend. I got to see them via webcam and he is sooo cute! He has a ton of hair and is so cuddly and precious. Times like this make me miss being closer to my family. I'm planning to stay with my sister for a week next month and help her out. I'm really looking forward to meeting my nephew and seeing my sister!
Two more girls at work are now expecting. I'm happy for them! Lots of prayers that my turn will be next.

Bad timing

Our summertime TTC may be a little difficult. Apparently it's easier if DH & I are in the same state to make a baby. I will be out of town during the next 2 cycles at the time I should be o'ing. It's not even DH's crazy business trips that are getting in the way this time. It's my own travels! Then the next month, we have to get pregnant or else TTC will be on hold for a couple of months because of a wedding next year. I don't think I can wait any more! I sure hope it somehow happens soon!

I'm still obsessed with baby stuff. I have lists galore of to-do's, baby item purchases, nursery plans, etc. I even picked out the travel system I want! Did you know Bed Bath & Beyond has baby stuff now?! I think that's fantastic!

I really hope I'm not setting myself up for extreme dissappointment.

June already?!

Here's what I've been up to lately...

I've just spent most of my free time this past week reading through MckMama's blog. I'm still not finished, but I had started following it last fall, but had never read from the beginning (as I do with most of the blogs I follow). Sometimes blogs are better than my novels I love to read. I love stories of real life, struggles and joys.

Discussing the possiblity of living in Europe... DH has been struggling with job stuff. He's not happy in his current position. One of his coworkers revealed a few opportunities opening up and he's opted to voice his interest in the one in Europe! We have discussed this possibility before and I would be very nervous about it, but would be on board for the adventure. It would most likely be only for a few years and wouldn't probably happen for about a year. Hopefully having a newborn in tow would be an extra challenge in that adventure!

Cleaning/Nesting: With TTC efforts in full speed ahead this summer, I'm starting to nest already! The room that will be our first nursery is currently my "office." I planned from the beginning for this to be a nursery. It's a gorgeous calming blue color (regardless of the baby's gender, it will remain blue). My desk will move downstairs, and I'll have to relocate all of my "junk" (I'm a bit of a pack-rat). I've been trying to weed through all of that stuff now.

So, that's what I've been up to!